something or everything

She meant everything to me,
I meant something to her.
Though everything is above something,
But something remains above everything..

Now as am perplexed, what she meant to me
everything or something,
As i still wonder, what i meant to her
something or everything..

All that counts now
isn't about everything or something,
All that matters here
is about what's that "thing".
Is it something, or was it everything..

moment of life

when i first saw her
i noticed a spark for life
withdrawn, detached, but full of life

i extended her my hand of friendship
which later turned out to be companionship
(which) she accepted with a sigh of relief

days became hours, hours moments
every moment turned out as a life
a life within life

even though deep within our hearts
despair persistently existed
we continued with a ray of hope

hope can be dangerous word
hope can be a moment of life
hope can be the life of a moment

we woke up to the knock on the door
the knock that stirred our souls
souls that awoke to reality

a humble submission by her
a rebellious question by me
though i knew the inevitable

the d'day struck
a glimpse just vanished
in a moment, in the life of a moment

she is somewhere happy or made happy
am here lonely or made lonely
in each moment of life, in each life of a moment..

kaisa..

kaisa rishta, kaisa taluq, jab ehsas hee nahin.
kaisi wafa, kaisa wada, jab rishta hee nahin..
kaise khwab, kaise arman, jab koi aarzoo hee nahin.
kaisi zindagi, kaisa safar, jab tera saath hee nain..

last night she came

Last night i was sitting idle by the window and sipping my evening drink. She entered my room with an air of same elegance as she used to carry years ago. I wished her a warm hi to which she replied by coming close to me and resting her hands around my shoulders. I looked deep into her eyes as i always used to do and said "you get to know a woman who she really is when you look deep into her eyes. Your eyes are still brown, age hasn't changed it any bit". She replied "these are contact lenses. I can choose the colour i want". By that time she had laid her eyes on the other glass which was kept on the window pane. on being querried about the other glass, i replied "every evening the other drink was made in lieu of your long awaited arrival". The force of tears was overwhelmed in her eyes which she failed to hold anymore. Two drops, just two drops were all that i got in my palms. She murmurred in a half broken voice, which was almost choked by the upheaval of emotions in her, "I left you which was a terrible mistake and I still regret it". I had nothing to say apart from these three words of despair "alas, you could", as a life worth waited for is worth lived for.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door... i still could feel her presence but not see..

sawal apne zehen se

jab bhi tanha bethta hun, aksar apne aap se yeh sawal karta hun.
ke dil ke kisi kone mein jo apka nishan hai, woh koi nishani hei apke pyar ki yah koi dag apke ghumari ki..
jab bhi tanha bethta hun, aksar apne aap se yeh sawal karta hun.
ke kyun apke ghurur ko hum samajh bethe apka nur..
jab bhi tanha bethta hun, aksar apne aap se yeh sawal karta hun.
ke kyun mein roz chand ko tak ta hun, aur apko yad karta hun.. aur khud ko tanha pata hun..

ek sawal, ek jawab.

kaun mera hai yah mein kiska hun..
pehle payal tha, par ab ghungroo hun..

means:
who belongs to me or whom do i belong to? that's the question in place.
the sound of payal is for one person only, the closest one, the dedicated one, the one who belongs to you. whereas the sound of ghungroo is for all, but they never belong to you.

longings of lost love..

ibteda-e-khalish ke alfaaz kabhi bayan na kar paye.. ruh ab bhi tere chah-e-tasawuf mein khoyi hui hei...

ibteda (introduction), khalish (deep pain), alfaaz (words), chah (longing), tasawuf (mysticism)
means..........
never could i even utter a single word of the very introduction of the pain within (forget the whole story), as my soul is still engulfed in the mysticism of longing for you...

alas..

for them I was good at MAKING LOVE, but not IN LOVE.

wafa

bewafaon se wafa ki umeed kya, wafa jab kiya toh bewafai ka ghum kya..

the deafening silence

firaaq ka lamha mukhtasar sa tha... yadein lekin sannaton mein bhi gunjti hein..

afsaana

afsaana yeh intazar ka tha.. intazar ab ek afsane ka hei...

story of a picture

Sehra-e-tasavur mein woh ek tasveer thi
Waqt ki dhul mein dabi benur ek tasveer thi..

Darwaje pe ek dastak ko betaab woh tasveer thi
Taarikhon ke taqrane ki gawah woh tasveer thi..

Shab-e-aabroo mein mushtaq woh tasveer thi
Har ek iltiza ko samete khamosh woh tasveer thi..

Khuda ki masuliyat ko kubul kiye ek tasveer thi
Hasrat-e-duaaon se dur woh tasveer thi..

Shab-e-raat ki chirag woh tasveer thi
Mazaar pe murzhaya hua ek ghulab ki tasveer thi..

Zehar se bhari ek jam ki tasveer thi
Maikhane ki mousiki mein tanha woh tasveer thi..

Ashqon se bheegi ek khat ki woh tasveer thi
Daastan-e-wafa ki kitaab woh tasveer thi..

Woh nahi, unki yaadon ki woh tasveer thi….
Khiza mein udte mere raakh ki woh tasveer thi..
Meri mouzudgi ko dauhrati hui woh tasveer thi….
Mere fanah hone ki gawah woh tasveer thi……..

tasavur (imagination), benur (pale), dastak (knock), mushtaq (awaiting), iltiza (request), masuliyat (curse), jam (peg), maikhana (bar), mousiki (tunes), ashq (tears), khiza (fall winter), mouzudgi (presence), fanah (finish)

innser self speaking

khud ko bhulaakar yeh kaisi rah par chal pade hum
kasti par sawaar to hue, par kinaron ko nazar-andaz kie hum..

khwabon ki tamir ko samet te samet te
khud khwabon mein bikharte rahe hum..

gheron ko sahare ka hausla to dete rahe
khud ke bojh tale magar dabte rahe hum..

anzaanon mein khusiyan bikherte rahe
dil ki gehraion mein khud ko khafa karte rahe hum..

mehfilon mein khokar sukun ko dhundte rahe
afsane hazar to hue, bewafaon mein wafa ko sajda karte rahe hum..

be-naqabon mein us parda nashin ko dhundte rahe
tahe dilse magar khud ko gunehgar mante rahe hum..

zakhmon ko site site dararon ko bhul gaye
naasuron ko chupate hue muskurate rahe hum..

taqat ke nashe mein aksar khud ko bebas paate rahe
ruh ko bhulakar takht-o-taj ko chumte rahe hum..

itr ke mehal mein saundhi ko talaashte rahe
ashrafion ke chah mein wazud ko pinha karte rahe hum..

shab-e-yadon mein be-intaha sisakte rahe
zamane ko magar mukhota apna dikhate rahe hum..

jam par jam nazrane chadhate rahe to
pyas bujhate bujhate magar khwar ho gaye hum..

yeh kaisi khumari thi khud ko mitaane ki
bade khulus se barbad hote rahe hum…..